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The Death Of Harambe and The Dildo Destroyer Clan
Harambe as you all know, was a gorilla who was murdered at Cincinnati zoo on May 28 2016, after dragging a 3 year old boy into and around his enclosure. He was shot dead by an 'Unknown zookeeper' with a sniper rifle. Sad yes, we all know, very bad time for apes... or was it? connected to the death of Harambe was the demise of the Dildo Destroyer clan. The no.1 World Of Warcraft clan comprising of Mrs Weedon or 'Miss Weed' as her comrades, Titty Bumfuck and Ass Annihilator would refer to her as. She worked as a cover teacher at marringtree shid school, and would often bang out some wow wit the lads during lesson. She would also use the school's shid pond as a meth lab where she would cook meth and distribute it via the helicopter which would fly above the school, in many cases the dildo destroyers would jump out the helicopter and into the pond, often covered up as a 'meteor strike' by the government :BITRAY_angry:. Mrs weedon would send this meth to an 'unknown location' and often had a bad history with warrington, which is why she stayed under the pond'. However upon the realization of harambes death, in which miss weed was watching tv in her meth lab, she had a violent aneurism/ stroke and knocked over some acid into a pile of uranium which caused a massive explosion similar to a sun exploding, however due to miss weeds immense weight and size half of the meth lab was preserved, but unfortunately in this side of the meth lab was an experimental substance from an 'unknown location', more on dis later dw, and it caused mrs weeds body to enter a state of cryogenic sleep, never to awake. As for the dildo destroyers the clan slowly dissolved and split up, with members such as nigga face being shot dead in hospital by an 'unknown assailant'. many other members suffered a similar fate. Thus ending the dildo destroyer clan. sadguest moment. Now we have pt1 of the event covered, here is a brief summary, harambe dies for unknown reason by unknown assialant, mrs weed dies due to his death, and dildo destroyer clan is dissolved, and no more wow dominance. What do we need to uncover? who killed harambe and why, why were the rest of the dildo destroyers targeted? was it a cover up????? many questions yes yes settle down ape all will be told. We now must introduce tyrone, a hood nigga who would often loiter on the power lines causing disruption in networking, seems innocent for a hood nigga. He would often have fights wit rival gang dmitri, a soviet slav who would use fireworks to target tyrone and his gang. Not much is known about tyrone and his origins, as well as dmitri. but more on that later, now that we have all parts of the lore covered, we can move on. Fast foward a few years and we reach 1942, the time of ball. Introduce Bernard Montgomery. A high roller in the high command, owning several mansions up in sheffiled, in which he would co host gabber raves with popular influencer 'gazmachine battlefiled' and popular drug dealer and bf youtuber regarded in the high command. gazmachine would often fax montgomorey his bf kd and weed pics, aswell as sponsors for 'code gaz' of ur lovely booze machine. cracking. Monty also had another freind, mannigtree music teacher Mr Warrington, or otherwise known as jackfrags, a youtuber who often complains about not being able to rent his own server or who broke the crumpet machine. warrington did not have as much influence as gaz and was required to play bf on one of the schools keyboards during break. Nevertheless warrington banged out bf and went 'crumpet mode' on unsusepcting enemies, brillaint. However, a very sad moment occured during the battle of apetown, 1942, in which montgomorey and warrington fought against Liberia, an extremely powerful nation of apes. Here is a summary. Monty and warrington, aswell as the high command were defending sheffiled from liberian invaders, trying to seize the captured soviet oil machine which the high command where using to fax 2011 memes via morse code. General Butt Nacced, a fearsome liberian commander who succedded sir humphrey shid in leader of liberia, led the assualt, comprising of 200 aerial apes, 50000000 fridge units and 999999999999999999999999999999999 apes. the apes swam all the way from gorccy after a succesful annex of the unsuspecting gorccy nation. The apes tried to take Sheffield, however monty and warrington fought hard, using crumpet mines and ww1 machine guns to mow down the apes. however it was at a great cost. winston churchill, one of warrington and monty's best mates, was brutally mutilated by Butt nacced after being drenched in winstons cuppa. Oliver cromwell tried to come to winstons aid but his 1652 flintlocc musscet exploded in his hand and severed both his wrist and neck, and he painfully bled out in shid. Winston died a similar death. F. dodgy dave, another high command, charged at butt nacced but was shot at point blancc by a high command member who sadly suffered from dementia, and forgot which side he was fighting for. Just down to butt nacced and some ol' high command shidders, warrington oredered the sheffiled shidders to repair 2 liberian fridge units, as king nacced approached them wit ape in his eyes, after a hasty repair, warrington took one fridge unit and monty took another, warrington went around the right and monty on the left. monty fired a stale shid right at nacceds arm and snapped it backwards, but butt nacced retaliated in a way which shook sheffiled forever. Montys fridge unit broke down and nacced picced up a giant, absoloutely hideous pile of shid and yoincced it at monty with the speed of a thousand apes, and monty was obliterated. so sad. f dw dw hes wit x rn spotlight uh monlight uh on my momma grave doe. But this gave warrington just enough time to throw his mouldy crumpet right at nacceds head, and shatter his skull, he later died from severe internal bleeding and head truama, follwed by a series of epeleptic brain sezuires and cardiac arrest. however nacced, covered in shid, quickly arose and snagged the soviet oil machine from monts dead hands and retreated back to lybia via nuclear shid expelled from his anus, while the rest of the apes used the liberian bike, a good way of travel back in 1942. occey now that all the lore is covered we is ready for the analysis. ������ Occey so in 1552 during the great liberian revoloution, in which sir humphrey shid fought butt nacced for leadership over liberia, in order for nacced to win he required support of the apes, and humphrey gone, but if he killed humphrey directly the apes would be displeased, as humphrey was a symbol of apeism in the nation. so he needed to do it without the apes knowing, how did he do this you ascc?? SHH QUIET APE YOU WILL FIND OUT SOON GEE. on the 28th of may 2015 humphrey was apenapped by nacced and his gang and taccen to an ape prison or 'zoo' as the dumb hairless monccys call it. and remained there for a year, nacced believed that humphrey being exiled for a long time would mean dumb chimps would forget and soon thincc nacced is humphrey, however apes soon found out about humphrey as he became a very popular ape at the zoo, with gaz and his gabber mates hosting gabber raves in his enclosure, because of all the gabber music and monster drinccs ppl didnt pronounce his name right, and soon came under the name 'harambe'. Yes thats right. Humphrey. Is. Harambe. SETTLE DOWN APE GEE LEAVE THE FURNITURE ALONE! Anyway gaz convinced the high command that harambe should remain leader of liberia and the high command began faxing humphrey via power cables to the zoo, and harambe would use the high command to send messages to liberia. This was a BIG nono for butt nacced, . This combined with humphreys messages gave the liberians hope that he was alive, and butt nacced became very unpopular again. but nacced was :BITRAY_angry: and needed to stop this. He realised that he could stop the communiscation being sent by simply sitting on the power lines. yes, i know what your thinccing.. 'holy bruh nacced is tyrone!!??' yes that is right ape, another lie caused by the loud gabber music yet again, thanks gaz. But anyway as 'tyrone' began sitting on the power cables, warriors from Gorccy, Russia, employed by the high command were sent over. Lead by a gorccian named 'dmitri'. yesyeysyeys i can hear you ape!!! its all adding up!!! SHUT UP NOW NOW!!. but anyway as nacced began to fight dmirti wit fireworccs left over from gabber parties he was distracted from the power cables, and more meth and info was being sent to liberia, and all seemed lost, however butt nacced realised time was at the essence and employed risky measures. On the 1 year anniversary of humphreys imprisonment nacced snucc into humphreys cage and fed him 9 tonnes of meth. its safe to say humphrey went ape. the news was all on harambe and all of a sudden a young chimp liberian was thrown into the cage, humphrey began thrashing at the young chimp going ' ape' on the young chimp's cheeccs. liberia was in shocc, their great leader performing such bad actions against his people, however after a tad the effects of the meth wore off, and humphrey began helping the young chimp, liberians where happy again!. but nacced? he was not. he didnt want to have to resort to this but he whipped out a stolen 1891 flintlock and shot humphrey in the face. BIG BIG shocc to all watching, liberians sat staring at their roccs for hours. Mrs weed,who had been supplying liberia with meth was in such shock that she spilt the chemcials like i said at the start and blew up! noooo. rip! what did this mean to nacced? this meant that liberia had no more monccy dust to keep its apes angry and gorilla mode, butt nacced did an oopsie. more on dis later. Now that nacced was king of liberia, (he basically shot anyone who didnt agree) which somehow worcced despite nacced being a lil sceptical of it, but anyway nacced decided to get some revenge on dmitiri for maccing him kill humphrey, now that his supply of meth was gone he didnt have a good army of apes, and liberia was not as strong as it once was, more on dis later. however due to pure ape might he charged gorccy wit his lybians and succesfully took over gorccy! dub!. and now he wanted revenge on shefiiled. and now we are bacc to the startt. As butt nacced departs from gorccy he lands in sheffiled, where he faces warrington and monty, and the story continues as i have stated at the beggining. Monty is killed but nacced is also deccled. Why? well my fellow apes, since butt nacced killed harambe and the dildo destroyer clan fell, butt naced no longer had a supply of meth, and he and his apes were not primal enough, and therefore E'd. yes very sad but valiant tale. thanccyou for reading ��